Creating intimacy in your Life

Jim Morningstar, PhD, Director of InWellness and Transformations, in this excerpt from Life InWellness Series #10: Intimacy, gives an introduction to ways to enhance intimacy in your everyday life. This is not just in special relationships, but enhancing your whole life, the quality of your experience of being alive on this planet. For the complete intimacy class or the 12 class Life InWellness Series click on buttons below.

Life InWellness Series Class 10 Intimacy Life InWellness Series Classes 1-12

Laws of the Mind

Jim Morningstar, PhD, presents basic principles of how the mind works as part of the Personal Effectiveness Principles course in the School of Integrative Psychology. Mind mastery is essential to creating a life of joy and satisfaction, but few people have had any training in how to change old limiting thought patterns into a more effective life affirming outlook. This is a start.

Core Seminar 3: Communication: Pitfalls and Clearing

Core Seminar 3: Communication: Pitfalls and Clearingby Jim Morningstar, PhD

Some of the most clear and effective theories and practices are presented here:
Seminar 1: Goals/Personal Time Study
Seminar 2: Family Systems Study and Application
Seminar 3: Communication: Pitfalls and Clearing
Seminar 4: Therapeutic Breathwork Introduction
Seminar 5: Levels of Existence and Spiral Dynamics
In Seminar #3 the student will learn:
How to recognize “Risky Rascals,” those commonly used messages that purport to help, but which enmesh communicators emotional systems. This is a is key to assisting self and others to increase clarity and effectiveness. Recognizing communication styles and redirecting ineffective styles is the second goal of this seminar. Course Objectives:
*Identify solution messages, put downs and avoidances,
*Know four healthy communication options,
*Give steps of open alternative to four ineffective communication styles.
CE credits available:

Find our other courses here.

What is Holistic Counseling?

This is an excerpt from an Introduction to Holistic Counseling, in which Jim Morningstar,PhD, gives three characteristics of the systems approach which distinguish it from more traditional forms of counseling. This paradigm shift is influencing our views of all the healing arts. How do you incorporate this way of dealing with relationships in your life?

Your Two Pillars of Wellness

Self-responsibility and love are primary expressions of life energy. Together, they form the supporting pillars of wellness, and encourage the free flow of all other types of energy.
Self-Responsibility means: taking active steps to knowing and getting what you want (yang or active principle of life).
Love means: accepting and caring for yourself as you are connected to all life (yin receptive principle of life).
With love and self-responsibility as the foundations of our being, living and wellness are synonymous. Each of us must find our optimal balance between taking charge/making changes and learning to adapt/go with the flow.

Life in Wellness Series (Class 1): Self-responsibility and LoveLife InWellness Series Classes 1-12

Do you know the difference between your thoughts and your feelings?

Do you know the difference between your thoughts and your feelings? Knowing the difference and being able to communicate them clearly can make a world of difference in both your effectiveness and happiness in life. Jim Morningstar, PhD, explains the critical differences that lead to so much misunderstanding and confusion. Learn to identify and harmonize your mental and emotional life.

Personal Effectiveness Principles with Jim Morningstar, PhD

The Personal Effectiveness Principles is a series of eight two hour classes enabling participants to gain
clarity about their ability to maintain a healthy lifestyle and success in utilizing the resources of their community. Class members learn and practice:
– principles for thinking clearly, acting passionately and responsibly and obtaining fulfilling results in their unique way,
– how to help create an environment that will sustain ongoing positive life changes for themselves and others.

Free Creative Life Series Meditation and Introduction

This series of seminars lays the foundation for a holistic approach to life. Six major life areas are examined to infuse a greater sense of self-responsibility, creativity and thus balanced healthy approach to well being.

Being unaware of the belief systems which shape one’s reality often keeps one searching for knowledge in endless variations on outmoded themes. Having the tools to more objectively witness one’s structure of thought, alter basic patterns and then analyze the results is a profound step in human development. This allows one more choice in infusing spiritual principles in place of unconscious patterning. These seminars take students step by step through this process in life areas which hold the most meaning and emotional charge. Thus it is more than a how-to manual, but teaches group and individual support techniques to make effective change.

It is expected that students will be able to:

a. Infuse creative thinking into major areas of life purpose through analysis, affirmation and effective goal setting,

b. Understand and use the body as an energy conducting system, means of communication and product of one’s thoughts,

c. Work effectively with prosperity principles including earning, spending, saving and investing,

d. Recognize major psychological and emotional patterns in relationships and apply creative thought principles to change,

e. Explore realms of conscious awareness beyond consensus reality,

f. Address psychological factors that undermine spiritual fulfillment including birth trauma, parental disapproval syndrome and the unconscious death urge.

These seminars can also be taken for Continuing Education Credits.

What is Spiritual Psychology and the Spiritual Psychologist’s Role in the Community?

The goal of the true spiritual psychologist is to live with purpose and to join with and

inspire others to do the same.

link to a pdf version of this post:

What is Spiritual Psychology?

     In a true, classical sense, the term “spiritual psychology” is redundant. The study of the

psyche–the personification of the human soul–must be spiritual, that is, “concerned with

the animating principle of life.” Since our Western scientific heritage (and traditional

psychology) has assigned the mind and body to the realm of the measurable and the

spirit to the domain of faith, there has been a split in our understanding and approach to

these essential aspects of the human phenomenon.

     The advent of holism as a philosophical tenant in the latter part of 20th century heralded

a fundamental shift in consciousness, from linear or causal thinking toward systemic

awareness. We can no longer operate with a mechanical model if we are to understand

the inter-dimensional realities that allow us so much freedom and expansion of our

capabilities. It is critical that we have a psychology that not only admits the existence of

the human spirit, but also takes it fully into account in knowing and predicting human

behavior. Just as important is for us to have spirituality that incorporates the discoveries

we have made about the mind/body connection and how the mind and body mirror and

manifest our spiritual intentions. To keep the two realms separate is to keep us split and

severely limited in our understanding and treatment of the whole human being.

     Spiritual psychology is not just a “new age” phenomenon. Each generation brings in a

“new age” of sorts, but the changing values during the 1970’s heralded a paradigm shift

in world view that got the label New Age – astrologically associated with the Age of

Aquarius. As often happens when a great departure from a former system (as in

adolescence), the swing is radical and in the beginning can be ungrounded. For

example, if accumulation of material wealth was a former value, then anything and

everything that is non material may be embraced and assumed to be of value. Hence

the bad rap for those claiming an nonintegrated “new reality.” These experiments over

time, however, have been part of a genuine integrated valuable advances in world


What do spiritual psychologists do?

     A spiritual psychologist’s basic training as a therapist or counselor has been directed

towards helping clients get beyond reacting as victims of life circumstances. The

scientific approach for professionals is to find behavioral and emotional patterns which

lead to predictable results and to assist clients in redirecting these patterns. To have

these changes be more than situational, it is necessary to uncover core belief structures

which shape clients’ realities. This, of course is an art as well as a science, employing

our intuition, empathy and sense of timing as well as observational skills and theoretical

approaches. The ineffable missing element, however, without which all the empathy,

understanding, and technique will not suffice is the clients’ deep sense of purpose.

The ability to inspire this is perhaps the spiritual psychologist’s greatest gift. Although it

too is not sufficient.

     To pretend that spiritual psychologists are neutral technicians of mental health

principles does an insidious disservice to clients and communities. It promotes the

illusion of the value free authority rather than the value honest leadership. This

highlights the potentially uncomfortable position that spiritual psychologists are in: their

values effect those they treat and the community in which they live and serve. This is

not only true when they are directly in the public view, it is also true in the more subtle

standard they bear as the professionals who bring troubled community members into

functional balance – from politicians and CEO’s in marital or legal trouble to the socially

disenfranchised. Setting themselves up as moral paragons or the “new religion” is

rightly repugnant to all. But to deny their values and their influence is equally

irresponsible. How do they sort this out and ethically conduct a practice in such a

pluralistic society? Keeping out of trouble by trying to stay safely within the limits of

current codes of ethics is reactive and ultimately defenseless. What is an empowering

proactive stance that does not require being a public crusader?

     “Know thyself” is the pithy yet powerful rejoinder for all in the helping professions. If

spiritual psychologist know their values they can responsibly communicate them and

dialogue with their clients and community. This can result in appropriate referral when

their values are sufficiently different to be of disservice to their clients. It can also lead

to more effective intervention in circumstances that are laden with conflicting societal


     The spiritual psychologist sees “reality” as a medium for creating rather than a source

of limitation, and it has four distinct levels. Translated into their work as therapists they

help their clients deal with: challenging daily events, chronic patterns of behavior,

underlying positive and negative belief systems, and personal life purpose.

     Therapists who focus just on life events and patterns of behavior may heighten clients’

awareness. An inevitable frustration ensues for clients, however, who can see their

patterns and even predict their cycles, but are unaware of the deeper structures which

keep them in place. Therapists who are self aware enough of their own belief systems

are able to help clients unearth self limiting mental models held in place by unresolved

emotional and behavioral reactions. They then can help clients choose and transplant

new foundational principles with the sensitivity of a gardener helping to tend to and

celebrate new growth. As exciting as this may be for both therapist and client, it too can

lack the juice to inspire clients to self direct and flourish. They know how to change, but

not why they are changing. By having the courage to unearth and tap into their own

purpose, they cannot guarantee their clients will. Nor can they have them feed off from

their purpose long before they both burn out. They can create the medium for clients to

explore their own whys for living, go through their dark night of the soul, and emerge

with their light in their time. This of course, is truly rewarding and one of those perks

that keep spiritual psychologists being counselors.

     Even this ability to inspire can lead to disillusionment if we do not help clients go

through all the stages of their own self awareness – including a working mastery of their

patterns and underlying beliefs. This means teaching the tools to self search and

championing their courage to challenge structures of fear and limitation as a lifelong

mission. This requires an unflinching commitment to the truth, a willingness to

challenge internal and external systems that inhibit taking full responsibility of their life

and their membership in their community. It is not becoming a crusader or true believer,

but rather a purposeful, connected student and teacher of meaningful life values.

     Spiritual psychologists deal with the why to live, not just the how to live. The outmoded

arbitrary division relegating the why’s to religion and the how’s to science has long since

shown its ineffectiveness and subsequent moral erosion. Spiritual psychologists are

called, I believe, to take the lead in admitting what they value, rather than being in

denial and communicating unrealistic ideals, i.e. the neutral human. Their ethical values

may include: respect for autonomy, non maleficence (avoiding harm), beneficence,

justice, fidelity, and veracity. They must know and understand their values and be

honest with the creative tension between that which they aspire towards and how they

currently operate. This is a more realistic leadership model for our current world of

advertising “hype” or cynical disbelief in anything.

     Theirs is not to impose answers, but to help an honest soul searching inquiry into our

purpose as humans living in an evolving, diverse, sometimes scary, yet creative world.

How does a spiritual psychologist work in the community?

     There are many examples of spiritual psychology being shared by holistic agencies and

practitioners in the community. I can speak most accurately about the work I do as an

example of aspiring to the goals of spiritual psychology.

     It has been my life work, as an aspiring spiritual psychologist, to investigate all forms of

conscious growth personally and professionally. I examine and experiment with what is

being presented by others from ancient traditions and new discoveries. I then retained

those skills and practices which provided the most lasting grounded, results. This takes

fitting the appropriate techniques to the student or client at the right time to facilitate her

or his empowerment.

     Spiritual for me signifies coming from the undefined spirit or animating force of life.

Religious signifies a particular body of teaching or dogma about the origins of existence

and/or living according to a proscribed moral standard. Some very “spiritual” (in my

definition) students and clients have been atheist or agnostic. That is they have a

profound respect for the individual point of view and the sacredness of life itself. Many

students came for personal healing (from religious or other abuse) and are at a

transition point in their lives. They were looking for an environment to foster self

knowledge, forgiveness and the joy of finding a path to their true hearts desire, rather

than someone else’s formula for a happy life. They are the people who do well with

spiritual psychology. Not everyone is willing to take on this level of challenge, but those

who commit themselves to a course of spiritual psychology have been almost

universally grateful and permanently changed.

     Personal and professional are very interrelated aspects of a holistic perspective. It is

common that spiritual psychology students and/or clients make career shifts based on

greater clarity and sense of personal purpose as well as confidence in achieving their

life goals.

     My mission has been in the Milwaukee area where I directed the School of Integrative

Psychology and the Creative Consulting and Counseling Services from 1980 till 2013.

There is a very strong spiritual presence that is rooted deeply in our Heartland. The SIP

is just one example of spiritual psychology in the Mid West. There are many examples

throughout the country and world of such schools and counseling centers that are

growing in strength. If such an orientation calls to you, then follow your heart and find

the teaching and counseling that speaks to your soul.

Jim Morningstar, Ph.D. is still active in counseling and teaching therapeutic breathwork,

though he now spends more time in writing and mentoring in “semi-retirement.” He has

put the SIP courses online and they can be taken via self direction or with qualified